


Hands On Me

by Pellaaearien



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Biblical Reinterpretation, Cramps, F/M, Genesis - Freeform, Menstruation, Pregnancy Scare
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-11
Updated: 2018-07-11
Packaged: 2019-06-08 16:20:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15247146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pellaaearien/pseuds/Pellaaearien
Summary: “Oh, well in that case, I know how to deal with those,” he said. “The human female menstrual cycle - such horrible design, honestly.” Intelligent Creator, indeed - what exactly was the point of having half of your creations beset by pain and general inconvenience a quarter of the time? And now it had laid his detective low.





	Hands On Me

**Author's Note:**

> Someone over at Lucifer Prompts asked for a fic where Lucifer helps Chloe with cramps. I was happy to oblige, as I suffer greatly from them every month and would sell my literal soul for a friendly neighbourhood Devil to take care of me. Somehow they ended up talking about Genesis and the Antichrist because obviously that's relevant. 
> 
> The first part happens early on in their partnership, while the second and third take place post season three, after they've gotten together and Chloe knows the truth. It fits in nicely with my In Other Ways verse but can be read independently :)
> 
> Title is taken from the Vanessa Carlton song of the same name which I think is very applicable to Deckerstar. 
> 
> Many thanks to Wollfgang for giving it a read over <3

Lucifer was concerned.

No, scratch that, he was the Devil, he didn’t do _concern_. He was _annoyed_. The Detective hadn’t called him today, despite seeing him off the previous night with an assurance that she’d be following up on some more leads and would require his assistance. She hadn’t gone without him, had she? She wouldn’t have broken her word like that. Perhaps the leads simply hadn’t panned out and she had seen no need to trouble him.

Well, that simply wouldn’t do. In anticipation of the Detective’s summons, he had taken special care in dressing that morning (never mind that he always looked good; his appearance could always do with polishing when Chloe was concerned) and such effort shouldn’t go to waste. Tired of being at loose ends, Lucifer decided to make for the precinct anyway. At the very least he could provide her some entertainment as she did her boring paperwork.

His stomach soured when he strode into the precinct and Chloe wasn’t at her desk. She couldn’t have forgotten him? Lucifer was quite certain he was unforgettable. He put quite a lot of effort into it, as a matter of fact. He forced himself to relax. She was simply getting a coffee. Or more files. The thought served to cement his rationale for being there. He should be the one fetching things for her. He told himself it was just an extension of their partnership and had nothing to do with the special light Chloe got in her eyes whenever he handed her something she needed, the way her lips never failed to curve slightly in that special smile he sometimes fancied she reserved just for him.

In any case, she wasn’t there.

He passed Daniel in the bullpen and the other man looked at him in bafflement. It was an expression Dan often wore and as such didn’t trouble him overly. His words, however…

“Hey man, what are you doing here?”

Lucifer schooled his expression. No call to jump to conclusions just yet, and even if the worst had occurred, there was no chance he’d allow the _Douche_ to see his distress. “I’m here to discuss something with the Detective; is she about?” There, that sounded sufficiently casual. He had no doubt he’d find _something_ to discuss with Chloe, once he located her.

Detective Douche gave him another odd look. “Chloe’s not here, she called in sick today.”

Having half expected Dan to say Chloe had gone off without him, her partner, Lucifer was briefly mollified by the second half of Dan’s explanation before his stomach flipped over like a car engine as he processed the implications.

“The Detective is… unwell?” he managed to say through the roaring in his ears.

“Yeah, man, that’s what I just said. Enjoy your day off… Hey!”

Lucifer barely heard him, already halfway out the door. He drove to Chloe’s, registering very little of the trip there, his brain effortlessly cataloguing the vast number of ways the fragile human body could fail. Even the bloody common cold could be lethal, given the wrong circumstances. Panic surged ice-cold in his veins as he mounted the steps, already conjuring the most horrific scenarios that could be lying in wait behind the door. This was the price, his heart unhelpfully reminded him as it continued to beat in the rhythm it had sustained for millennia and would continue to beat when Chloe and all her descendants were stardust; this was the price of getting too close to mortality.

When he opened the door, it seemed his worst fears were realized - the curtains were drawn and the air within was stifling, even for him. The oppressive atmosphere made it feel like someone had already died.

“Detective?” he called out, his voice falling quiet and dead in the still room. He heard a groan.

“ _Noo,_ ” he thought it said. Heart in his throat, he made his way to the living room, finding her curled into a ball on the couch. The television was on, but at a volume so quiet even he struggled to hear it and Chloe didn’t seem to be watching it anyway, her eyes closed. She was wearing a tank top and sleep shorts and despite the amount of skin on display his desires were the furthest thing from his mind. He couldn’t detect any particular odour of illness in the air; just the natural smell of a Chloe who hadn’t showered that morning laced with a faint tinge of sweat which could have meant anything. Was it the flu? Cancer? The bloody plague? (Did that still exist in this century?)

Chloe’s voice interrupted his ruminations. “Go away, Lucifer.” She curled up into a tighter ball as if to hide from him. Her voice sounded weak and hoarse and while he would usually have gladly done anything she told him to do, there was no question of him leaving until he had assured himself she was all right.

“I - I stopped by the precinct and Detective Douche - _Dan_ \- told me you were ill,” Lucifer explained, unsure of why he was babbling. He dropped all pretense as he looked at the pitiful figure on the couch, his Detective who always seemed so strong. “Just… _please_. Tell me what’s wrong.” Some of the best doctors in the country owed him favours; whatever ailed Chloe, he could ensure she had the highest quality care in a heartbeat, just as soon as he figured out where to airlift her.

Chloe cracked an eye open. Apparently she saw whatever she needed to in his face because she closed it again, shifting slightly. The pillow she’d been curled around fell away, revealing the hot water bottle she’d been clutching to her midsection.

“It’s cramps, Lucifer, okay?” she sighed. “Just cramps. The painkillers I usually take aren’t working; it happens sometimes. I’d be useless out in the field so I used a sick day. It’s no big deal.” She sounded… embarrassed, for some reason.

 _No big deal_. The words circled round and round in Lucifer’s head like a mantra of relief.

Before he could collapse or say somewhat foolish, he became upset for a different reason.

“Oh, well in that case, I know how to deal with those,” he said. “The human female menstrual cycle - such horrible design, honestly.” Intelligent Creator, indeed - what exactly was the point of having half of your creations beset by pain and general inconvenience a quarter of the time? And now it had laid his detective low.

Chloe groaned again, covering her face. “Lucifer, it’s fine, really, I’d rather you just go, it’s nothing I haven’t dealt with before.”

“Ah, but you didn’t have me before,” Lucifer said, refusing to let himself be dissuaded now that he understood the source of Chloe’s discomfort. “Very well; I’ll go, but only to pick you up some chocolate - the good stuff, mind you. Of course, I could also get my hands on the _real_ good stuff that would leave your strongest painkillers in the dust,” he said hopefully.

Chloe’s lips curled up seemingly in spite of themselves. “Just the chocolate will be fine. Thank you, Lucifer,” she said, like he’d known she would. He sighed at her lack of fun.

“As you wish,” he said. “Will you also at least let me open some windows, it’s hot as Hell in here. Well, almost.”

“Thank you,” Chloe said again. Like she was surprised. Lucifer hardly noticed; he was just glad to finally be able to _do_ something.

He brought Chloe the finest Belgian chocolate in record time and then, since Chloe didn’t explicitly tell him to leave again, cooked her a light meal that would be easy on her stomach. As she ate, still in obvious discomfort, he hesitated before offering, “You know, Detective, I could give you a massage that might help…” He trailed away under her glare.

“I knew it,” Chloe said. “And you were doing so well, too.”

Lucifer raised his hands in a gesture of innocence. “I mean it, Detective. Just to ease your pain. Nothing untoward. I give you my word.”

Chloe continued to regard him suspiciously, but finally it seemed her discomfort won out and she gave in. Lucifer got her to lay down on the couch so that he could stimulate various acupressure points on her abdomen. It wasn’t perfect - if he’d had his wings he could have removed her pain entirely. It was the first time he could recall that he’d wished for them back for a reason other than that he missed flying. Chloe made sounds generally associated with women who were under him in other positions and engaged in other activities, but all Lucifer could feel was gratitude that she’d allowed him to help her.

“That… really does feel better,” Chloe said, stretching. “Where’d you learn how to do that?”

“My thorough study of human anatomy, of course,” Lucifer answered. Chloe just rolled her eyes.

“Of course,” she repeated. She looked down into the cup of chamomile tea he’d brewed her as part of the meal and then looked up with a genuine smile, the very one he’d laboured in the hope of receiving. It never failed to leave him breathless. “Thank you, Lucifer. Really.”

“You’re most welcome, Detective.”

Chloe paused, a moment of shy hesitation that struck him as both odd, given how she’d just allowed him intimate access to her body, and yet utterly like Chloe. “I, uh… thought I’d take a bath…”

“Of course,” Lucifer said immediately. A bath would be exactly what she needed. He wasn’t sure when exactly his rampant fantasies had taken a backseat to his all-consuming concern that she be comfortable, that this was likely her polite way of giving him an out. He prepared to rise, to retreat gracefully and, knowing the Detective, pretend this never happened.

“You don’t have to stay…”

 _That_ was unexpected, slamming him back into the moment. Was she implying that she didn’t want him to leave? He felt a brief stab of frustration. Things weren’t supposed to be this complicated. He wasn’t supposed to be left floundering in the dark, guessing at half-imagined cues. He asked a person’s desire, they told him, he fulfilled that desire, and they both moved on. Simple. Straightforward. So why did he jump at every chance to spend more time around this confusing human like it was a lifeline?

“Would you like me to?” He winced inwardly as soon as the words were out of his mouth; when had his life turned into one of those awful teen dramas?

Chloe looked away. “I’m sure you have better things to do,” she muttered.

So that was a yes. He found he wasn’t prepared to completely abandon his pride, however, so he refrained from saying he didn’t, instead equivocating, “If you’d prefer me to go…”

Chloe just looked at him, one of those looks that saw straight through him, and he wondered why he bothered. “We’d just be watching a movie,” she told him. “This is not an invitation to join me in the bath.” Her voice was flat and firm and it was only then that Lucifer realized the thought had never crossed his mind.

“Understood, Detective,” he replied. It would be an unexpected, though diverting, way to spend the day. Chloe smiled.

“So long as we’re clear.” She rose with only minor evidence of discomfort and made her way to the stairs before calling back, “and we’re _not_ watching Hot Tub High School.”

Lucifer couldn’t suppress a laugh. She’d gotten him there. Shaking his head, still riding the high of Chloe allowing him to stay, he set about preparing snacks.

 

* * *

 

_Much later..._

Chloe was concerned.

Scratch that, she was fucking _terrified_. And angry. And a bunch of other emotions she didn’t even have a name for, but concern? She’d passed that two days ago.

She told herself there was still no reason to overreact, that there were any number of reasons not to worry, yet. That didn’t stop her. And now on this, the evening of the third day, her stomach was tied in knots and she’d been vaguely nauseous all day, wondering whether or not she should say something to Lucifer. What if she was wrong, and he freaked out? Worse, what if she was _right_? Either way, Lucifer freaking out was a given in any scenario she concocted and she didn’t know how she was going to deal with it when she was already so strung out. Things were good between them; really good. Most days she went to bed filled with happiness and woke up unable to believe that this was truly her life. She ached to think about that changing.

When Lucifer breezed in about an hour later, raindrops clinging to him, netted shining in his hair and doing nothing to diminish the effect that he always looked like he’d stepped out of the pages of a damn magazine, Chloe had managed to pull herself together, somewhat. She’d busied herself in the kitchen, making dinner. As Lucifer came to kiss her, she thought for sure he’d notice something was wrong. But aside from his brow furrowing briefly as she pulled away, (that she could have just as easily imagined) he made no sign. He was in high spirits, humming along with the radio as he poured them wine, and her heart broke at the thought of ruining his good mood. She managed to play along, letting him pull her into an impromptu dance in the middle of the kitchen as they waited for the pizza to bake. Her cheeks hurt from smiling but her stomach was still cold and heavy and she knew she wasn’t going to be able to eat a bite of the meal.

Lucifer didn’t release her after the song was over, just swayed gently from side to side. Suddenly Chloe couldn’t take it any more - something snapped, and the words burst out of her without her conscious choice, blurted into his designer vest.

“My period is late.”

Lucifer came slowly to a halt, looking down at her with a quizzical expression.

“All right…” he said. Like he didn’t know why she was telling him. Chloe’s temper flared. She’d been so afraid of him flying off the handle; his calm acceptance worried her more. She pulled away slightly, clenching her fists at her sides.

“Do I really need to spell it out for you?” she demanded, unable to look at him. Could he really be this dense? “You said there was no way I could get pregnant!”

They’d had that discussion early on in their sexual relationship, Lucifer assuring her that they weren’t genetically compatible, that he always practiced safe sex for the good of his partners, not for himself, and that he would, of course, concede to her wishes and whatever would make her most comfortable, but for all intents and purposes, from a purely physical standpoint, he was impotent.

She’d teased him about it, afterwards, as he let out a pretend growl and reared up over her - _“I’ll show you just how_ potent _I am!”_ \- and what with all the crazy supernatural shit she’d had to wrap her head around, the fact that it meant she could enjoy the incredible intimacy of having nothing come between her and Lucifer when they made love had been easy to accept as an entry in the _pros_ column. But now…

“You aren’t pregnant, Chloe.” Lucifer was still infuriatingly calm and she wanted to scream. She’d been tying herself into knots for days over this, he didn’t get to just dismiss her concerns like it was nothing.

“How do you know?” she exclaimed.

Lucifer went very still. “You believe I would lie?” he asked, hurt pulsing beneath the surface of his tone. “ _Especially_ about something like this?”

Chloe made a frustrated gesture. “No, Lucifer, that’s not what-” She sighed. “I know you said you couldn’t get me pregnant. But you’re vulnerable around me, right? I negate your invulnerability. What if being around me makes you… not sterile, too?”

“Chloe, look at me.” She obeyed, and after a moment he drew her back into his arms. She went unresisting and began to relax in spite of herself when he began to stroke her hair. “When I said we were incompatible, I meant that, on a biological level, my species is incapable of procreating with yours. We’ve been over this before, darling - just because your presence renders me mortal does not make me human. I am still, technically, an angel, and as such, my biological processes are very different from yours, no matter how similar I might appear on the surface. I know you’re not pregnant, because I have not sired a spawn - to do so would require a deliberate manifestation of will on my part and consent on yours - neither of which, I assume, from your reaction, have occurred.”

“Oh,” Chloe said.

“I had no idea you were so upset, love. I admit I didn’t consider how it might look to you. I’m sorry I didn’t explain myself more fully. Your consent ought to have been as informed as I could make it.”

Coming down off the panic, Chloe was a little shaky, and she wrapped her arms tighter around Lucifer. “No, I’m sorry,” she said. “I let my mind run away with me. It wasn’t something I even thought of until I was late and then it hit me all at once.”

Lucifer pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “It was a clever deduction,” he said. “But still impossible, darling, no need to worry.” Chloe nodded as the oven timer went off and she pulled away to extract the pizza.

“Now, if you’re late enough to be worried, does that mean you’re unwell?” Lucifer asked, eyeing the pizza. “Have you been eating properly?”

Chloe smiled and rolled her eyes. “Yes, it just happens sometimes,” she said. “Now that I know there’s no chance I’m pregnant there’s nothing to worry about.”

“Clearly,” Lucifer said as they sat, indicating the Bible on the table she’d forgotten she’d taken out. Crap. “Were you planning on doing some last minute research? I’ll save you some time: I’m barely mentioned and the ‘antichrist’ only makes a cameo at the end.” She heard the air quotes in his voice and the deeper undercurrent of… something that made her reach out and take his arm.

“Lucifer, no,” she assured him. “I admit I was… curious. But I was actually hoping you could… I don’t know. Commentate?”

Lucifer gave her an odd look. “You realize very little of what’s written in that book actually happened in the way it’s presented. For one thing, it’s been translated half a dozen times, and things are always lost in translation even when the translators themselves don’t have an agenda. Add to that a legion of men in power who decided what should be in it to suit their own purposes…” He shrugged.

Chloe nodded. “That’s exactly what I mean. You were there.”

Lucifer still looked wary. “I was in Hell for most of it, love.”

Chloe’s heart twisted, the way it always did at the reminder of how Lucifer had spent most of his long existence. “If you don’t want to…”

“I didn’t say that,” Lucifer countered. He eyed the Bible again. “That book has been responsible for as much pain and suffering as it has good.”

“I’ve always thought so,” Chloe agreed gently. “Like I said, I’m just curious. And you gotta admit being able to ask someone who knows what really happened is a great opportunity.”

Lucifer nodded. “I suppose. Very well.”

After dinner found her lying on the couch, nestled in Lucifer’s arms, his legs bracketing hers.

“Might as well get this over with,” Lucifer sighed, as she settled in, but Chloe could tell his interest was finally piqued. She flipped through to the first page.

“ _In the beginning_ ,” she read, “ _God created the heavens and the earth._ ”

Lucifer snorted. Chloe twisted to look back at him, eyebrow raised. “Seriously? Already?”

Lucifer rolled his eyes. “Conveniently skipping the part where Mum did half the work.”

Chloe’s mouth dropped open. She’d never thought about that. “So, your Mom…?”

Lucifer smirked down at her. “Ever heard of something called the Big Bang?”

Chloe blinked. “No. No way.”

“Very much _way_. Your theologians are very fond of the notion that Dad can make something from nothing, but that’s not entirely accurate.”

“It isn’t?” This was exactly what Chloe had been hoping for, but it was slightly disconcerting to find herself already at sea.

Lucifer shook his head. “Think of it as… borrowing against future entropy.”

Chloe swallowed and took a deep breath. Then another. Holy _shit_. Quite literally.

“Perhaps we ought to move on?” Lucifer suggested. Chloe nodded fervently.

“So… were you there, yet?” she asked, resolutely _not_ thinking of the time scale they were talking about.

Lucifer hummed as he considered. “Perhaps not _quite_ yet. Though very nearly. What does it say happened next?”

Chloe remembered the book in her hands and looked back to it. This was just the first sentence. Maybe she’d been wrong about having the mental fortitude for this after all.

“ _The earth was a formless void and darkness covered the face of the deep, while a wind from God swept over the face of the waters,”_ Chloe read.

“Ah, there we are,” Lucifer said. “Thousands of wings do tend to emulate wind after all.”

Chloe lost her breath trying to imagine it. Thousands of perfect beings, with wings as beautiful as Lucifer’s, springing into existence at once. To cover her overwhelming sense of awe, she cleared her throat and asked, “so that was it? Thousands of you - _poof_ \- just like that?”

Lucifer shrugged. “I assume so. I was very young at the time.” He spoke in jest, but Chloe could hear the wistfulness in his tone. “At any rate it’s better than imagining my Parents going at it like rabbits. I have _many_ siblings.”

Chloe just shook her head. Some things were just too massive, too far outside her experience, to register as anything other than a hypothetical. She read on.

“ _And God said, “Let there be light”; and there was light._ ”

There was silence for a moment. Chloe finally thought they’d found a line Lucifer wouldn’t remark upon. Then he sniffed.

“Of course, it was always there, since the Beginning,” Lucifer said, a strange note in his voice. “Dad just decided to do something with it.”

Chloe considered his silence, the odd way he was speaking. _Lightbringer_. She felt her eyes grow very wide. She couldn’t turn to look at him.

“He gave it to you,” she whispered.

Lucifer’s arms tightened around her briefly before releasing. “Yes,” he confirmed.

Chloe let out a long, slow breath. “Right. Okay.” This was normal. She could deal with this.

Lucifer shifted slightly beneath her. “We don’t have to continue, if you find this too distressing,” he said. Chloe shook her head again, but before she could answer, Lucifer’s long finger skimmed the page, clearly reading ahead.

“Hm. Primitive,” was his verdict. “But I suppose that’s to be expected. Not sure what all this nonsense is about _separating waters from waters_ but I suppose you lot wouldn’t have had words for matter and antimatter yet. And of course the timeline is off completely.”

Chloe’s head was spinning. “The… timeline?” she repeated.

Lucifer _tsk_ -ed. “I mean, I know humans had no concept of the larger universe until recently, but to relegate the creation of the _heavens_ to a single day? And twice that to the creation of just the Earth? Hardly. The stars aren’t even created until the fourth day - as if there could have been a planet and accompanying flora without the Sun.” He made a disparaging noise. “And of course, Dad gets all the credit.”

Making a sudden decision, Chloe closed the book - Lucifer making a surprised sound as he removed his hand - and set it aside. She snuggled up closer to him, resting her head on his shoulder, and his arms came around her like it was automatic. Arms that had existed since before the concept of time. Arms that had lit the stars. And this divine being was here, sitting in her living room, cuddling her and eating her pizza. It took a while to find the words to speak.

“So, what really happened?” she asked at last. After a brief pause - like he was surprised, even now - Lucifer began.

* * *

 

In the days that followed, Chloe felt like she spent most of her time walking around in a daze. It wasn’t like Lucifer had unlocked the secrets of the cosmos - as he said, most of it was beyond human comprehension - and therefore he’d done little more than reorganize Genesis into the proper order.

“It’s as good a description as any,” he’d said, “and besides which, I wasn’t around for most of it.” Of course - because he’d been off _lighting the stars_.

Chloe still felt an overbearing weight in her chest whenever she thought about that, like someone had dropped a brick on her. She’d known for a long time that Lucifer was so much more than the narcissistic playboy who’d so annoyed her when they’d first met, but for some reason she couldn’t stop thinking about it. The same man who’d traded banter with her over the piano during his statement and asked if they’d had sex, showing up to a crime scene to smoke pot - _this_ was the (former) King of Hell. And before that he’d traversed the cosmos on wings of gossamer, letting there be light. _Lucifer_. Light-bearer.

Then his Father had shut him away underground, in the dark. No music. No light. Just ash and screams. The brick on her chest got heavier. She had to remind herself to breathe.

It was a wonder Lucifer hadn’t gone mad, and she was suddenly immeasurably grateful for his bursts of immaturity. She couldn’t begrudge him, not any more. It was proof that he could still _feel_ , could still _laugh_. That he hadn’t been worn down by his experiences into something incapable of joy. She might never fully comprehend what a precious gift that was, but she knew enough. The way he was, even now, quicker to crack a cynical smile or an inappropriate joke spoke to a strength she didn’t think anyone gave him enough credit for.

Of course, after the panic over her late cycle, it could hardly do anything other than strike with a vengeance, and Chloe wrapped herself around a hot water bottle in bed, glad it was the weekend and Trixie was with Dan, as she continued reading the Bible from where they’d left off.

That was how Lucifer found her, sliding back into bed behind her after undertaking his morning routine.

“ _Must_ you?” he groused, upon seeing her choice of reading material. Chloe used her finger to keep her place, shifting so that their bodies fit more closely together. Lucifer’s higher body temperature made him better than a heating pad.

“Like I said, I’m just curious,” she said, sighing a bit when he pulled her closer. “Even if all of it is wrong, I figure I should at least know what it says.” Lucifer huffed and muttered something unintelligible, nuzzling her neck. Chloe found it very difficult to read with the added distraction, which was likely his intention. She’d just gotten to the part with Eve and the apple and was about to ask Lucifer about it when a line caught her attention.

“ _To the woman, He said: I will greatly increase your pangs in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children…_ ”

She kicked Lucifer playfully under the covers. He raised his head. “What was that for?” he asked, sounding wounded.

“I was in labour with Trixie for over twenty hours!” Chloe exclaimed. She twisted to look up at him just as his baffled expression resolved itself and he rolled his eyes.

“Oh, that old chestnut. No, it’s not true, Dad never said that,” he said wearily. “What would even be the point? More like a bunch of venerable religious leaders saw a way to consolidate their power and codify their supposed position over women - there were quite a few powerful female sects around back when it was written.” He sighed. “And of course, who better to blame it on than the big bad Devil?” Chloe closed the book and put it aside, lifting a hand to his face instead. Lucifer’s jaw was tense. “Dad was more than happy to let me take the fall for His poor design.”

Chloe twisted to kiss him, grimacing a little as the movement exacerbated her discomfort.

“Cramps again, love?” Lucifer inquired, noticing the hot water bottle with a frown. Chloe yawned, nodding.

“Yeah, it came late so… The painkillers aren’t helping again.” She smiled a little. “You are though.”

Lucifer’s hand drifted lower. “If you’d like, I could assist further…” He let his words trail away as Chloe shook her head, removing his hand immediately.

“No thanks, Lucifer,” she said. “This is fine. I’m really not in the mood.”

Lucifer’s frown deepened. “Is that really what you think of me?” he asked. Chloe grasped his hand, resting it higher up on her body.

“No, Lucifer, I just meant…” She cleared her throat. “Supposedly orgasms help with cramps, but I’ve never really felt up to testing it.”

“Really?” Lucifer purred. “Well, we’ll definitely have to test that out another time, but that wasn’t what I was referring to.”

“What were you referring to, then?” Chloe asked. “Oh, did you want to do that acupressure stuff again? That was really nice, before.”

“Not exactly,” Lucifer hedged. “May I?” he asked again. Chloe nodded. Lucifer rested his hand over her pelvis again. Chloe took a breath, then another, wondering what was going to happen. And then the pain disappeared, like the painkillers had kicked in all at once, only better. She felt light, almost bubbly.

“There. How’s that?” Lucifer murmured. Chloe demonstrated by twisting so that she could face him, tossing the water bottle to the floor.

“Wow. That was you?” she asked. Lucifer nodded.

“I used my grace to take away your pain,” he said, like it was no big deal. He almost sounded embarrassed. “Side effect of the wings,” he said, as she continued to stare at him. “Might as well be good for something.”

“Lucifer.” She cut through his bluster, cupping his face in her hand. “Thank you.” She drew him in for a kiss, humming against his lips. He arched an eyebrow as they parted.

“Just thinking,” she said. “It doesn’t seem fair that I should get to keep this all to myself.”

“This is an exclusive offer, I’m afraid,” Lucifer murmured. “The travelling about and laying on of hands was my stepbrother’s thing, not mine. Well. The travelling about, at any rate.” Chloe just laughed and shook her head. She suddenly had so many more questions, but they could wait. She didn’t want to talk about Jesus.

She pulled Lucifer closer. “Speaking of the laying on of hands…”

Lucifer smirked. “I thought you weren’t in the mood?”

“That was then,” Chloe answered. “Besides, what if they come back?” she asked. “Now would be a perfect time to test that theory… just to be safe.”

**Author's Note:**

> Obligatory disclaimer: as always, the Biblical stuff in here is just me playing around with stuff in the context of the show's lore and should not be interpreted as reflective of my beliefs or those of others. Thank you for reading!


End file.
